*nod* don't get me wrong, I'm not disagreeing with you. :)

And who - a few strange exceptions aside - really *wants* to feel pain? Pain you can't stop with a safeword, I mean? ;)

I'd say more, but I've got Ianto and Jack circling each other in my head right now and they're being a bit demanding of my attention. Suffice it to say that Ianto's rather patiently explaining how submission is not a substitute for validation...