I think I commented on those fab fics just yesterday in my non-fannish skin - britgeekgrrl. Liked 'em, although the first person POV was unexpected. But hawt.
Anyways,
Your comment causes me to raise an eyebrow as, in my experience in the kink community (broad but not deep, I'll admit, about ten years, starting off as a domme in a house, then retiring from that and limiting it to a hobby basis), limits exist, whether you define the relationship as top/bottom, dom/sub or a hybrid in between.
**Speaking from my experience, YMMV**
Boundaries can be pushed, certainly, pushed until they creak alarmingly but not broken - unless they were negotiated ahead of time as not a real boundary in the first place, just a speed bump to enhance the scene.
I think what we've run into here, is that perhaps we mean different things by the terms being used. So, what do you mean by "true d/s" and "true power exchange"? I suspect it's not what I'm thinking of as, in my experience and in my crowd, when someone starts talking about "true d/s" it usually means "not respectful of limits, and not safe play and therefore just not on"
I've had scenes which had limits and yet did not stifle power exchange. You seem to think the two are mutually exclusive, or am I misunderstanding you completely?
(I'm being very wary of the internet pixies stealing nuance. I'm not being quarrelsome, I just want to be sure that our respective definitions are clear)
Back to those lovely boys you *do* raise a good point in that you've made me realize that I need to better articulate the respective character's goals, and how they mesh (and don't mesh) with each other. At the moment, my draft has Jack initially approaching everything as a bit of a lark, but being brought up short over time, with an eventual transition into edge play - and even into what *I* would consider unsafe play (ignoring limits, etc). An evolutionary process, natch - but one should begin with the ending in mind and perhaps I've lost sight of that amongst some very distracting mental visuals.
no subject
Anyways,
Your comment causes me to raise an eyebrow as, in my experience in the kink community (broad but not deep, I'll admit, about ten years, starting off as a domme in a house, then retiring from that and limiting it to a hobby basis), limits exist, whether you define the relationship as top/bottom, dom/sub or a hybrid in between.
**Speaking from my experience, YMMV**
Boundaries can be pushed, certainly, pushed until they creak alarmingly but not broken - unless they were negotiated ahead of time as not a real boundary in the first place, just a speed bump to enhance the scene.
I think what we've run into here, is that perhaps we mean different things by the terms being used. So, what do you mean by "true d/s" and "true power exchange"? I suspect it's not what I'm thinking of as, in my experience and in my crowd, when someone starts talking about "true d/s" it usually means "not respectful of limits, and not safe play and therefore just not on"
I've had scenes which had limits and yet did not stifle power exchange. You seem to think the two are mutually exclusive, or am I misunderstanding you completely?
(I'm being very wary of the internet pixies stealing nuance. I'm not being quarrelsome, I just want to be sure that our respective definitions are clear)
Back to those lovely boys you *do* raise a good point in that you've made me realize that I need to better articulate the respective character's goals, and how they mesh (and don't mesh) with each other. At the moment, my draft has Jack initially approaching everything as a bit of a lark, but being brought up short over time, with an eventual transition into edge play - and even into what *I* would consider unsafe play (ignoring limits, etc). An evolutionary process, natch - but one should begin with the ending in mind and perhaps I've lost sight of that amongst some very distracting mental visuals.
Thanks for stopping by!