On Thoughts Smutty and Torchwood-Shaped

[fangrrl_squees]

I swear, I'll get past this in twenty four hours or so. I'm just on a bit of a kick at the moment and I'm being more honest that usual about it.

From notes jotted during a meeting.

You know what I hate about most d/s fiction? Simpering subs. Oh, I’ll admit that a little bit of it is inescapable, but I’ve read far too much d/s fic – especially d/s slash – where the 9-to-5-control freak immediately collapses into a simpering pile of grateful jelly after the first spanking. Gah. Boring – and not always plausible.

1. Breaking people is sexy.

2. Breaking people over a period of time is really sexy. (well, it is to me. YMMV and write your own darn fic, if that’s the case)

3. Simpering subs are, in general, counterproductive to #2. Or, at least, they break the mood faster than a phonecall from one’s in-laws.

Oh dear god, I just realized what’s going on in my head: I’ve got Owen being topped by Jack, and Jack being topped by Ianto. You know what this means? Owen/Jack/Ianto sandwich!

Damn, I think I just sprained something in my head. That’s way too much manflesh for me to contemplate dealing with in a single story. I mean, really, how many words are there for cock anyways? I shall leave the aforementioned manwich to writers more experienced and more filthy-minded than myself. Verily, the mind doth boggle.

In the meantime, I’m going to take a cold shower and try to think wholesome thoughts to restore some sort of balance. Srsly, I’m amazed I heard anything worth capturing during the two hour meeting I just sat through. I was far too distracted by Jack and Ianto engaging in what could be best described as verbal foreplay...

Comments

[seamstrix.livejournal.com]

Owen/Jack/Ianto Sandwich......

I'll take one to go please!

Hate whining, simpering, cringing subs. I mean WHERE'S the fun in that? If they can't take it like a man, why should I bother giving it to them?

[fangrrl-squees.livejournal.com]

If they can't take it like a man, why should I bother giving it to them?

I'm SO going to make a tee-shirt from that sentence.

[seamstrix.livejournal.com]

Please credit 'Seamstrix' and send me one too!

8-)

[fangrrl-squees.livejournal.com]

Do you want a credit on the shirt itself, somewhere, or just on the Cafe Press page, assuming I put my money where my mouth is?

I'm thinking something along the lines of "If you can't take it like a man, I'm not giving it to you" - in a distressed times-new-roman sort of font.

[seamstrix.livejournal.com]

You could put the credit in smaller letters underneath ala all the literary quote shirts. If you do the Cafe Press thing, let me know- I definitely want one....heheheheheheh......

words for cock

[genus-loci.livejournal.com]

There are more words for cock than one can fit in a livejournal reply. I'll make a start to give you some ideas (and I presume you're including slang/non-slang here) - this should get you started anyway:-

penis, member, phallus,

     
    * bait and tackle
    * choad (penis with greater girth than length)
    * cock
    * Crotch Pickle
    * dick
    * ding-a-ling
    * ding-dong
    * dingy (childish)
    * dinkle
    * dong
    * dork
    * endowment
    * fascinum
    * flander doodle
    * fuck stick
    * fun gun
    * the fury
    * gherkin
    * hammer
    * hampton (Cockney rhyming slang, "W:Hampton Wick"="prick")
    * hose (fire, etc)
    * knob
    * love gun (popularised by the band Kiss)
    * love pump
    * john thomas (popularised by Lady Chatterley's Lover)
    * johnson
    * joystick
    * junk
    * lad (Ireland)
    * Light saber
    * love muscle ("Russell the")
    * main vein
    * manhood
    * meat puppet
    * member
    * Mr. Happy (As sung by 'Weird Al' Yankovic)
    * Mr. Jim and the Twins
    * Mr. Winky (Dr. Winky or just Winky in less formal settings)
    * one-eyed trouser snake
    * organ
    * package
    * pecker
    * peener
    * pee-pee (childish)
    * pee-wee (childish)
    * percy
    * peter
    * pickle
    * pink oboe
    * piny tenis "code" for tiny penis
    * pocket rocket
    * pole (pink, purple, sex, etc)
    * Pork Sword
    * prick
    * pud
    * purple-headed womb broom
    * purple-headed yogurt slinger
    * ram rod (Roger)
    * red headed stranger
    * Rumple Foreskin
    * sausage
    * shaft
    * shit pole
    * shlong
    * spirit stick
    * staff (chief of)
    * stiffy (Refers to erection)
    * skin flute
    * tallywhacker
    * thing
    * todger (Australia, UK also tadger)
    * tonker (From Terry Pratchett's "Lords and Ladies")
    * tool
    * trouser snake
    * tube steak
    * twig and berries
    * unit
    * wang
    * wee-wee (childish)
    * wiener (childish)
    * wife's best friend
    * willie
    * winkle
    * Woody (Refers to erection)
    * Stuart (Refers to ROD! stewart)

Re: words for cock

[tamago.livejournal.com]

I'm rather fond of "wedding tackle" under certain circumstances. Tom Baker has an amusing anecdote of his first sex scene on film where they had to keep re-shooting from several differnt angles because he'd move wrong and some guy in back would yell, "No good! Now we can see his wedding tackle!"

Re: words for cock

[fangrrl-squees.livejournal.com]

Is this when I tell you that I was being facetious and lazy? ;)

Jack and Ianto

[genus-loci.livejournal.com]

Very nearly wrote some Jack/Ianto slash then using such gems as "hot coffee" innuendo. lol

I deleted it though before I posted - wasn't very good. Actually I'll save a copy for myself.

[moviegrrl.livejournal.com]

Owen/Jack/Ianto sandwich
And I really shouldn't have read that in work

I think you just broke something in my brain....

[fangrrl-squees.livejournal.com]

And a check mark for Tuesday! :)

*mwah*