They Called Me Mad! Mad!
May. 9th, 2007 04:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fangrrl_squeesFrom the fic-you'd-never-write meme. It's a bit rough, as it was just written for sillyfun. You have been warned.
***
"What are you doing?" Jack asked, believing he already knew the answer.
Ianto wriggled out from the depths of the TARDIS console. With his shirt sleeves rolled up and a bit of dirt smeared on his nose, he was the veritable picture of a man at work - albeit one who tends to wear tailored suits, even when getting grubby.
"Isn't it obvious?" Ianto replied, a little too mildly.
Bringing Ianto on board had been one of those decisions made a moment ahead of certain death. And now, some time after that certain death had been proven not quite so certain after all, other issues were making themselves manifest - at least as far as Jack was concerned, they were issues. The Doctor, as usual, seemed unaware, although whether that was by accident or design, Jack couldn't guess.
"Ianto's got quite a flair for temporal mechanics." The Doctor enthused from the other side of the console. "Hear that?" he cocked an ear theatrically. "She's purring like a kitten."
Ianto looked smug but said nothing as he fussed with various small tools.
The Doctor looked around. "Where's the um..." he snapped his fingers, trying to remember a word.
"Mallet?" Ianto said in the same too-mild tone. "She didn't like it. I got rid of it."
The Time Lord looked outraged "Nicola Tesla gave me that mallet!"
"That's one of the reasons she didn't like it."
The Doctor frowned, and then shrugged. "All right. Fair enough." He returned to his tinkering, undaunted.
Ianto smiled happily to himself and picked up a can of metal polish.
Jack watched Ianto, rife with suspicion. As a self-declared expert on innuendo, Jack was certain that there was something distinctly perverse about Ianto's interaction with the TARDIS' brasswork. The care with which he applied the polish, the painstakingly leisurely strokes as he buffed it away. And the way he leaned across the panels, practically straddling a certain corner... Jack was sure that qualified as obscene. Worse yet, Jack didn't know whether to voice a protest or tear Ianto's clothes right off him.
Jack noticed that the TARDIS' hum had climbed a quarter note - it seemed to be inventing an entirely new octave of satisfaction.
"Aw, hell." If Jack was going to have to compete with a TARDIS for Ianto's attention... well, he wasn't sure it was a competition he'd win. Still, it explained a lot about the Lisa situation...
***
Again, you can blame my evil twin for this one.
***
"What are you doing?" Jack asked, believing he already knew the answer.
Ianto wriggled out from the depths of the TARDIS console. With his shirt sleeves rolled up and a bit of dirt smeared on his nose, he was the veritable picture of a man at work - albeit one who tends to wear tailored suits, even when getting grubby.
"Isn't it obvious?" Ianto replied, a little too mildly.
Bringing Ianto on board had been one of those decisions made a moment ahead of certain death. And now, some time after that certain death had been proven not quite so certain after all, other issues were making themselves manifest - at least as far as Jack was concerned, they were issues. The Doctor, as usual, seemed unaware, although whether that was by accident or design, Jack couldn't guess.
"Ianto's got quite a flair for temporal mechanics." The Doctor enthused from the other side of the console. "Hear that?" he cocked an ear theatrically. "She's purring like a kitten."
Ianto looked smug but said nothing as he fussed with various small tools.
The Doctor looked around. "Where's the um..." he snapped his fingers, trying to remember a word.
"Mallet?" Ianto said in the same too-mild tone. "She didn't like it. I got rid of it."
The Time Lord looked outraged "Nicola Tesla gave me that mallet!"
"That's one of the reasons she didn't like it."
The Doctor frowned, and then shrugged. "All right. Fair enough." He returned to his tinkering, undaunted.
Ianto smiled happily to himself and picked up a can of metal polish.
Jack watched Ianto, rife with suspicion. As a self-declared expert on innuendo, Jack was certain that there was something distinctly perverse about Ianto's interaction with the TARDIS' brasswork. The care with which he applied the polish, the painstakingly leisurely strokes as he buffed it away. And the way he leaned across the panels, practically straddling a certain corner... Jack was sure that qualified as obscene. Worse yet, Jack didn't know whether to voice a protest or tear Ianto's clothes right off him.
Jack noticed that the TARDIS' hum had climbed a quarter note - it seemed to be inventing an entirely new octave of satisfaction.
"Aw, hell." If Jack was going to have to compete with a TARDIS for Ianto's attention... well, he wasn't sure it was a competition he'd win. Still, it explained a lot about the Lisa situation...
***
Again, you can blame my evil twin for this one.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-05-09 11:40 pm (UTC)Oh, Jack. Such dilemma.
Still, it explained a lot about the Lisa situation...
OH! Thats.....that's just wrong! Yet works. *shakes head* Could this fandom get any weirder?
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Date: 2007-05-09 11:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 08:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 10:58 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-11 04:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 01:32 am (UTC)(that comm makes me laugh my socks off, incidentally)
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Date: 2007-05-10 12:04 am (UTC)You'll be posting this at
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Date: 2007-05-10 01:34 am (UTC)(that comm makes me laugh my socks off, incidentally)
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Date: 2007-05-10 01:55 am (UTC)clankTardis might be fun. ;)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 08:07 am (UTC)truly truly adore you
*adds this to memories, hearts her evil twin*
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Date: 2007-05-10 01:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-10 08:18 am (UTC)Wrong on so many levels...yet somehow brilliant at the same time!
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Date: 2007-05-11 11:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-11 03:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-11 04:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-04 01:22 am (UTC)