fangrrl_squees | Torchwood: Little Questions

As I've been too busy at work this week to have much in the way of coherent TW-ish thoughts - except for occasionally feeding carrots to the more interesting plot bunnies - I'm going to throw out a topic and let you lot kick it around if you feel like. Everyone around here is generally smarter and more eloquent than me, anyways, so I'll probably enjoy what you've got to say more than what I do. But, FWIW, I'll throw in my two cents along with the questions.

And I should mention that I don't mind spoilers in the comments, so if you're spoiler-phobic, dear reader, you might want to scroll on by.

1) Jack and Hand fic. Amusing self-reflexive joke by which fandom proves it can laugh at itself, or proof that some fans will 'ship anything, no matter how creepy?

My thoughts: I like to think that it's the former. Fans that can't laugh at themselves have no business in the fandom. But I worry, reeeeeally worry, that some of those authors rather mean it. And the stuff they come up with! Crikey! It makes

doctard look positively sedate.

2) The possibility of a canon Jack/Gwen relationship? Inevitable by season's end, or just a big tease?

My thoughts: I think it's a tease. As I've seen some spoiler-riffic photos regarding Rhys' likely end, I expect that, at best, it'll be a hate-you-but-I-think-you're-really-hawt kind of thing, but I don't think I'll get that lucky. Meanwhile, the occasionally fit of gooey eyes between them is just a tease on the part of the writers and directors, designed to drive the Gwen/Jack 'shippers up the wall. I admit that, when the series began, I thought a Gwen/Jack hookup of some sort was inevitable, but I'm not so inclined now. If it does occur, I expect it'll be rather Klingon in nature - ie, preceded by lots of shouting and thrown crockery.

3) Jack's nature. Dead but not done moving yet, or bizarre human/Time Lord hybrid?

My thoughts: I want it to be the latter, but I suspect the canon reason will be the former.

See, Rose peers into the heart of the TARDIS and briefly becomes (as rpg!Jack calls her) Little Miss Time Goddess. She uses some of that to bring Jack back from the dead but, not being a Time Lord (or even Gallifreyan) herself, Rose doesn't quite know what she's doing and thus Jack returns, but not quite as intended. Granted, that's a justification for either potential state (dead or hybrid) but I must admit that I'm going to go with the allure of "It's so kewl!" and root for bizarre human/Time Lord hybrid in that whatever Rose did to Jack, it fundmentally skewed his metabolism (heck, his entirely categorization as a species) towards that of a Time Lord. Imagine how surprised Jack'll be when he finds out he's got quad-helixed DNA, or whatever...

4) Ianto. Gormless admin who happened to be having a good day in the cunning-plan dept when he rescued Lisa, or secretly the most competent member of the team and pure death in a well-tailored suit?

My thoughts: Another one where I suspect canon will reveal the former, and I'm rooting for the latter. Moreover, I'm dying to know if there's another reason (beyond protecting Lisa and/or (hypothetical) ongoing shagfest with Jack) for Ianto to maintain the Dandy Goth of Coffee and ManPain pose (to quote a popular icon) and what it is. If Ianto turns out to be a mole from UNIT, I will laugh up a lung right onto the keyboard.

5) How much would you pay for a copy of Jack's biography? Suggest the title for your favorite chapter, while you're at it.

My thoughts: I'd cheerfully pay usual market rates for a glossy hardback of The (Mis)Adventures of Captain Jack Harkness, more if it *is* illustrated. Fave chapter: Why I don't date telepaths anymore